Q: Why shouldn’t Christians live, or sleep together before marriage?
A: Because the God reserves sex for marriage.
IT MATTERS TO GOD
Marriage has existed from the beginning of human history. All cultures have had some common agreement on what constitutes a legitimate marriage. This is illustrated in the story of Jesus and the woman at the well in John 4. Jesus asks her to go and tell her husband about him.
The woman answered him, “I have no husband.” Jesus said to her, “You are right in saying, ‘I have no husband’; for you have had five husbands, and the one you now have is not your husband.” (John 4:16-18 ESV)
Obviously, Jesus viewed living together as something different than being married.
Any sexual relations outside of marriage is called fornication the Bible. It is included in the list of sins of those who do not know God.
The Bible says, “Do not be deceived! Fornicators, idolators, adulterers, male prostitutes, sodomites, thieves, the greedy, drunkards, revilers, robbers-none of these will inherit the kingdom of God” (1Corinthians 6:9-10).
Followers of Jesus are to avoid this sin at all costs.
Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body.(1 Corinthians 6:18 ESV)
If you claim to be a follower of Christ and persist in known sin, you may be deceiving yourself into believing that you have a relationship with Jesus, but really do not.
“Why do you call me ‘Lord, Lord,’ and not do what I tell you? Everyone who comes to me and hears my words and does them, I will show you what he is like: he is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid the foundation on the rock. And when a flood arose, the stream broke against that house and could not shake it, because it had been well built. But the one who hears and does not do them is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. When the stream broke against it, immediately it fell, and the ruin of that house was great.” (Luke 6:46-49 ESV)
“If you love me, you will keep my commandments. (John 14:15 ESV)
God’s people are to different from the unbelieving world.
“Abstain from all appearance of evil. And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly; and I pray God your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.” (1 Thessalonians 5:22-23)
But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints. (Ephesians 5:3 ESV)
“Let marriage be held in honor by all, and let the marriage bed be kept undefiled; for God will judge fornicators and adulterers” (Hebrews 13:4).
“Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, which you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you were bought with a price; therefore glorify God in your body.” (1 Corinthians 6:19-20)
HUSBAND’S ROLE
The most important aspect of the husband’s role in marriage is to be the spiritual leader. That means he is called to lead his wife into increasing holiness. By living together, the man is doing just the opposite: leading the woman into sin, not holiness.
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. (Ephesians 5:25-32 ESV)
BECAUSE HE LOVES US
God does not make rules arbitrarily. He does it to protect us. What are some of the consequences of living together before marriage? (Besides the spiritual consequences of erecting a barrier between you and God.)
Statistics show that those who live together before marriage are more likely to get a divorce than those who do not.
The National survey of Families and Households found that couples who cohabit before marriage are 50 percent more likely to divorce. The same survey also found that unmarried couples living together are twice as likely to be unhappy in their relationship, as are those who are duly married. These are just two of the many practical reasons not to cohabit. Click HERE for more reasons.
But the first and most important reason to abstain from sex outside of marriage is because you trust God, and therefore want obey Him. Do you believe that He loves you and desires the very best for you? Or, do you trust your own wisdom above His?
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. (Jeremiah 29:11-13 ESV)